2022 Nudeballers Goldfield Ashes
The Analysis by #pooinsink
(Spreadsheet by Chief King)
Day 1. AM Field 50. Nudeballers v Grandstanders 2.
2019 results, finished 104th with 353 runs and 14 wickets taken. Lost all games. 2020 results, finished 40th with 643 runs and 25 wickets taken, won 2/3 games. Big improvement here from this team so we need to be ready for anything day 1.
Day 2, AM @ Airport. Nudeballers v North’s Fathers and Son.
Important to note this team is dropping back from B1. 2019 results. Finished last with 431 runs and 12 wickets taken. 2020 results, finished 22nd with 472 runs and 7 wickets taken. B1 is 50 over matches and competition can have some quality players so hard to read a lot into this.
Day 3, AM @ Gun Club. Nudeballers v XXXX Floor beers.
2019 results, Finished 48th with 292 runs and 12 wickets taken. Won 2 games. 2020 results, finished 80th with 350 runs and 14 wickets taken. Won 1 game. Not a bad team to finish with but don’t underestimate.
In summary not a bad draw we have been looked after with all morning games again and 3 different locations. Team all below us in previous years so we are a good chance for 3/3 especially with @Uncle Bob to open bay day 1. If I do nothing else this weekend I have done this. Cheers.
Game 1 (Match 37) v Grandstanders II
The One with the Highest Score
21 January 2022 at Goldfield Sporting Complex 50
Batting first, Nudeballers 7/328; 35 overs. Grandstanders II 8/215; 29.5 overs
Nudeballers win by 113 runs.
Was this really Charters Towers? Why was there a breeze? Why was it “pleasant”?
Unfortunately, Uncle Bob did not toss the coin correctly and Grandstanders won the toss, electing to field. This drew initial ire from Nudeballers, but that soon faded as Cliché and Uncle Bob piled on 61 in just under eight overs for the first wicket. Anal then joined Uncle Bob for a 42 run partnership from 32 balls, before Uncle Bob fell for 47; one of the mystical scores at which Nudeballers had not previously been dismissed. The notion that Uncle Bob purposely aimed for that score was quickly “poo-pooed”. Anal and Bonfire upheld the momentum with a second 50 partnership in just 33 balls. Yelling out to Anal that he was on 49, only brought about his dismissal, strangled down leg. Despite the wicket, at 3/154 from 18 overs Nudeballers looked set for a big score. A 5th wicket, 78-run partnership in 51 balls between Stinky and Trust Me was interrupted in the 21st over when Plant Man was dealt a sickening blow by a full blooded Stinky hook shot. (Remarkably, after after being taken to Townsville by ambulance and treated for a fractured eye-socket, Plant Man returned to play on Day Two 😮). Trust Me was finally out for the third 40 of the innings in the 28th over. It was left to Stinky to bring up a 50; which he did from 30 balls. Solid late innings contributions by Donald, Rum Pig and Chief King catapulted the Nudeballers to their highest ever score of 7/328.
Grandstanders lost Curly early(😀) to a sharp chance by Anal at cover, off the bowling of Donald. Some big hitting by Shunny and Sword added 65 from just 37 balls before Rum Pig got under one off Cliche to end Sword’s innings. Just 16 runs came in the next four overs, including consecutive maidens by Thursto and Donald. The retirement of Shunny for 53 (41) in the 14th over brought Old Fella to the crease and a 46 run partnership with Hammer Time. A Stinky catch (that’s a catch by Stinky… we’ve been through this) off the “most-improved” Thursto, sent Old Fella back to the pavilion with the score on 153. With 176 needed from 15 overs, the pressure started to tell. despite a 50 to Wilbur, Grandstanders crashed to be all out for 215 as Bonfire picked up a wicket and a catch off Uncle Bob, Uncle Bob a wicket and a catch off Trust Me and Stinky a C&B.
A first up win to Nudeballers by 113 runs in a game played in tremendous spirit between the two sides.
The Pink Cap to Anal and Bonfire +1; Orange Cap to Stinky 52; Purple Cap to Trust Me 2-19
Play of the Day… Rum Pig for dropping what was probably the easiest catch in Nudeballer history.
The “Eagle” award - a beautiful handcrafted “Nudeballer”- was awarded to Statz for services to Nudeballers.🥲
A special award was also presented to Clichè for bringing up his 60 not out. A lovely GM bat and another Eagle masterpiece.
Game 2 (Match 38) v Norths FAT
The one with the bullheads.
22 January 2022 at Lou Laneyrie Oval (Airport 28)
Batting first, Norths FAT All Out 126; 26 overs. Nudeballers 7/141; 35 overs.
Nudeballers win by 3 wickets in 32.3 overs
I’m not sure who Lou Laneyrie is, but, he’d have to be disappointed in his Oval at the Airport. The only thing growing on it is bullheads. I mean you just have to listen to the “oracle of the bush”, Bob Katter: “In 45 years, you know, I've been through 400 droughts. The answers are, in fact, very simple. I mean, the answer is you put water on that ground and it grows grass.” Come on Lou!
Trust Me lost the toss, but unlike Uncle Bob, the force is strong with him and he managed to coerce Norths FATS to bat first. With the markers at 100m (Thanks Anal), it was going to be hard for the “sons” of the “fathers and sons” team to find the boundary, but being whippets, they were not averse to taking a cheeky two while Chief King stopped to pick bullheads out the ball.
Most improved, Thursto, opened the bowling again and picked up a wicket in his second over, when he snuck through Paul Adami’s defence. A couple of overs later, Bonfire doubled the wickets tally doing similarly for the other opener, Anthony. After a couple of blemishes on Day One, Stinky was not going to drop a chance off brother #pooinsink, in over 9; 2fa becoming 3fa.
The misery continued in #pooinsink’s next over with a double strike to reduce Norths FATS to 5/46. Brothers, Kai and Zac Adami took a quick 14 from the next 8 balls before an Anal C&B (That’s a C&B by Anal…I mean, he didn’t catch it with his….never mind!) sent Zac back to the pavilion, or at least, the chairs in front of the cars.
The next two partnerships featured some great running between wickets and good-hitting by Ryan Higgins. Ryan first teamed with Kai for 25 from 25, then Brooke Morrish for 31 from 36, to take Norths FATS to 116. Both partnerships were cut short by the Rum Pig factor. A juggling catch by Trust Me from Rum Pig’s 3rd ball saw Kai’s demise, then a Rum Pig direct hit from the outer beat Brooke at the non-striker’s end attempting a second! Ryan continued to blast away. He might have had a 50 but for a great bit of fielding by Most Improved at mid-off, diving forward to hold a great catch off Uncle Bob. A Cliché catch (that’s a catch by Cliché.. not a run-of-the-mill….) in the next over by Anal brought the innings to an end on 126 from 26 overs. Nudeballers were happy to continue to the 35-over mark to allow Sam, Jaxon and Lucas to have a hit; #pooinsink picking up a 4th wicket to equal The Soiler’s long-standing best of 4/19.
It wasn’t just the youngsters who had trouble with the long boundaries. Excellent bowling and enthusiastic fielding tied the Nudeballers down, especially Statz who batted like a corpse with pads to register 18 from 50, then retired with a busted poofle valve. The Nudies were 1/51 after 15 overs with just 3 boundaries – all from the bat of Stinky. 4/30 from the next 10 overs; including the wicket of Stinky for a very good 33 from 35, set the Nudeballers back. Needing 46 from 62 balls, Chief King joined Trust Me at the wicket. 14 from 12 reduced “the ask” to 32 from 50, before Trust Me got a cracker from Kai. Norths FATS sensed a boilover and ramped up activity. The calm heads of Bonfire and Chief King were just what the Nudeballers’ doctor ordered. Only a slight wrinkle when Bonfire popped one up for a C&B to Paul Adami with 2 runs to get. A couple of singles in the 33rd over overhauled the total, before Chief King lashed out with a couple of big hits in the last two overs to take Nudeballers to 7/141.
A stellar effort by the young Norths FATS team. High quality bowling and fielding. A win to Nudeballers by 3 wickets and another game played with great camaraderie.
With another catch, Anal retained the Pink Cap. Stinky retained the Orange Cap with his 33 taking his total to 85. A record-equalling 4/19 to #pooinsink saw him snatch the Purple Cap from Trust Me.
Play of the Day and the “Eagle” award was awarded to Most-Improved, Thursto, for brilliant catch.
Game 3 (Match 39) v Garbutt Magpies
The one with #pooinsink bullying a 12 year old.
23 January 2022 at Richmond Hill State School
Batting first, Nudeballers 8/241; 30.4 overs. Garbutt Magpies 9/95; 18.5 overs.
Nudeballers win by 146 runs
A switcheroo on Day Three. With XXXX Floor Beers a late withdrawal, Garbutt Magpies stepped into the draw. Once again, we were in luck; drawing a bunch of great guys there to have fun. The lovely Kerri also looked after us switching our game from the arid plains of the Gun Club to the lush surrounds of the Richmond Hill State School - probably our favourite venue.
#pooinsink was in charge, won the toss and elected to BAT; a radical departure from Nudeballer protocol. Uncle Bob and Trust Me manned up for the final day opening stand – always a difficult job with joints creaking. The field was lush, but that meant it was also very slow. Trust Me didn’t bother with the “hitting-along-the-ground” stuff, belting his free hit for six. The wily Irwin found a way through the Trust Me defence a short time later; 1/19. Rum Pig’s stay lasted five balls and included two sixes before Rex snuck one through his defence as well. Uncle Bob and Bonfire plugged away wrestling with the Magpies’ double-bouncer barrage. Uncle Bob fell in the 11th over after a solid 20, bringing skipper, #pooinsink, to the crease. Keen to prove his “bat first” philosophy, #pooinsink calmly smacked his first couple for four; then took a single to retain the strike. 11 off the bat and a couple of wides in the next over took the score to 76. Then young Zen came on to bowl. #pooinsink began a bizarre over, smacking Zen for six on four occasions, apologising after each shot! What a bully! By the end of the over, Nudeballers were 3/101 from 13. The Bonfire/#pooinsink partnership of 63 from 36 came to an end with the retirement of #pooinsink for a stellar 51 from 20 balls; a fine Captain’s knock.
Bonfire’s stubborn stay at the crease ended in the 22nd over after a fruitful 33-run 5th wicket collaboration with Half-A-Night. The “old firm” of Half-A-Night and Chief King bludgeoned 75 from 27 to catapult Nudeballers to 227 in the 27th over. Chief King’s 52 took him to 102 runs (not out) for the weekend; the 5th occasion he has topped the 100 for the Nudeballers at the Ashes. Half-A-Night was out shortly after Chief King’s retirement for a well-made 40 from 33. Nudeballers innings came to an end on 8/241 with a duck to Anal going largely unnoticed!.
Most Improved Thursto was now a regular opening bowler as was the miserly Bonfire. A #pooinsink catch off Thursto in the 3rd over dismissed Byron. Then wickets fell in each of the 6th, 7th, 8th and 9th overs to reduce Magpies to 6/35. Chief King struck the stumps twice in the 6th removing Tathan and Rex. Having dropped one, a couple of overs earlier, Half-A-Night latched onto one off Rum Pig to make it 4/30 in the 7th. Chief King joined in the bully-boy tactics of skipper #pooinsink when Bonfire took a catch to dismiss young Zen in the 8th. Uncle Bob did a revenge “wily” on Irwin, sneaking one through in the 9th.
Magpies skipper (Jermaine/Jim) then mounted a rescue mission, cleverly farming the strike in a 49-run partnership with Dion, including one Stinky over (that’s an over by Stinky not a…you know the drill) which went for 31 runs (5 sixes and a wide). Some tight bowling by Anal, #pooinsink and Trust Me slowed Jermaine down a little, but he was still able to bring up a fine 50 from 29 balls, guiding the team from 6/35 to 8/95. Meanwhile, Anal and #poosinsink claimed wickets in the 16th and 17th overs and Most Improved Thursto came back to claim the last in the 19th, via Anal’s 3rd catch of the weekend.
A resounding win to Nudeballers by 146 runs; our largest ever winning margin batting first. quod erat demonstrandum #pooinsink.
Play of the Day and the “Eagle” Award to Chief King for a 50 and three wickets.
A 9th place finish is our 4th top ten finish all secured in the last seven tournaments.
Weekend Awards
Pink Cap (Fielding) – Anal (3 catches)
Purple Cap (Bowling) - #pooinsink (5/23 from 6 overs)
Orange Cap (Batting) – Chief King (102 runs not out)
