2018 Nudeballers - Goldfield Ashes
Chief King’s Pre-Ashes Analysis
Its that time of year again. The Draw has come out and I have done some extensive research into all our opponents.
DAY 1- Mendi's Mob @ Goldfield sporting complex 49, AM
First things first, great field placing as we don't have to travel far from the club house after our first bacon and egg burger of the weekend. These guys have only had two years traveling to the Ashes for a return of only 1 win. The finished 62nd last year with 1 win and the year before they finished 101st without a win. Average runs 531 per tour and 17.5 wickets. Perfect first game for us. Lets start off with a big win so we can see ourselves in the top 10 after day 1.
Day 2 Sweaty Munters @ Airport 35, AM
THE BIGGEST GAME OF OUR LIVES
This is the SMC team who our new recruit RUM PIG (Zac) has just signed from. Yes these are the guys who a few of our blokes have been mates with for years because they don't shower, brush their teeth or change one bit of clothing all weekend. I should not have to say this twice. Come prepared for WAR. Don't let their previous results fool you they will be ready for this one. Over the last 7 years they have they have finished anywhere between 93rd and 38th. Averaging 510 runs a tour and 21 wickets. Last year was their best year with 605 runs and 23 wickets finishing 38th. I said I should not have to say this twice but I will, COME PREPARED FOR WAR!!!
Day 3 Sharks @ Eventide 56, AM
Also a team who has been around a long time. They have finished between 70th and 18th over the last 7 years. They seem to be a team that has had mixed results. I'm sure there are a few handy cricketers in their side. They average 579 runs a tour and 25 wickets. Come day 3 we will know how they are traveling so we can add the first two days results to our research to see if they can compete with our ageing side. Worst case on day 3 if we have players getting too old, Eventide is the nursing home in charters towers, so we can sign a few of our blokes up for a room.
For those new and old our best result is a 5th place (2015), last year we finished 16th. Our average runs per tour is 599 and wickets are 26. We are the team to beat all 3 days, so lets show these pricks who the Nudeballers are! Prepare well over the next couple of weeks lads. We have a huge weekend coming up, some men may be lost but we will be victorious. Looking forward to seeing you all lads. (I can say all because Russ isn't coming)
Game 1 (Match 28) v Mendi’s Mob
The one with Clichè’s black eye
26 January 2018 Goldfield Sporting Complex Field 49
Batting first, Mendi’s Mob All Out 132; 18.5 overs. Nudeballers 5/289; 33.5 overs
Nudeballers win by 6 wickets in 20 overs
With no partnership lasting more than four overs, the Mob could only manage an 18.5 over stay at the wicket. Trust Me picked up 2 and the rest were shared around in a very good bowling effort by the Nudeballers.
In reply, 2 Pot got a 50 on debut, Idiot his maiden 50 and #pooinsink a 16-ball “smashathon” at No 10 as the Nudeballers amassed 289 from 33.5 overs. Statz retired early after Mendi’s grumbled about a non decision and Cliche copped one in the face off the edge of his bat which put him out of action for the weekend. A very mixed bag for the first day… but, a win!
Game 2 (Match 29) v Sweaty Munters
The one with the “biggest game of our lives”
27 January 2018 Charters Towers Airport Reserve Field 35
Batting first, Nudeballers 4/250; 20 overs. Sweaty Munters 8/169 18.2 overs.
Nudeballers win by 81 runs
The Nudies were prepared for War and they came out blazing; smashing 250 from 20 overs….wow! Two of the fastest partnerships ever for the Nudies; Half-a-Night and Chief King belted 71 from 29 then Idiot and Rum Pig smashed 74 from 25. Three 50s in the innings - to Shut-the-f@#$-up from 29 balls, Chief King from 19 balls and Rum Pig from 17 balls - had been done before by the Nudies, but not in a 20 over match!
Chasing a whopping 12.5 an over, Munters were right on target after an 85 run partnership from 39 balls between Ice Man and Jason (the best ever against the Nudeballers) took them to 125 at the half-way mark. A double strike by Timber in the 10th and three wickets in six balls to Half-A-Night brought an end to the chase in the 19th over.
Game 3 (Match 30) v Sharks
The one with too nice a name.
28 January 2018 Eventide Field 56
Batting first, Sharks 6/210; 35 overs. Nudeballers 8/264; 29.5 overs
Nudeballers win by 6 wickets in 22 overs.
After a huge win in the “biggest game of our lives” the Nudeballers biggest enemy was complacency. Well.. complacency and hangovers 😵. “Eventide” seemed too nice a name for the location of this match. One side of the field was overgrown and the other had the nursing home barely 40 metres from the pitch. You could either die from snake-bite or potentially kill a pensioner with a cricket ball! 😳
Timber and Keefey got Nudeballers off to a great start giving up just 11 runs in the first four overs. Uncle Bob continued the tight bowling, but #pooinsink and Anal came in for some tap; going for 20 each in the 6th and 9th overs. However, this came at the cost of wickets; Sharks 2/68 after 10. Just 35 came from the next 10 culminating in a wicket maiden to 2-Pot in the 20th. From there, Sharks accelerated nicely, taking 107 from the final 15 to post a solid 6/210 from a full 35: 2-Pot the pick of the bowlers with 2/14 from three.
The omens were not good as the Nudeballers had not successfully chased scores above 200 previously (losses to Wreck ’Em twice and the “black match” v Blackheath Thornburgh) but, a 78-run, 2nd wicket partnership from 48 balls between Trust Me and #pooinsink (who went on to 50), then 41 from 22 between Trust Me and Chief King (a 17-ball 50), set the Nudies on the right track. Down the order, Uncle Bob and Shut-the-f@#$-up also teamed up for 59 from 34 getting the Nudies home with 13 overs to spare.
Another big win and a great weekend for the Nudies.
Weekend Awards
Orange Cap: #pooinsink
Purple Cap: Half-A-Night
Pink Cap: Timber
