2023 Nudeballers Goldfield Ashes
The Analysis by #pooinsink
Friday 20/01/23 - Nudeballers v Urkels XI @ Field 29. AM
Urkels XI previous years data.
2022 - Finished 105th, 0 wins, 233 runs, 16 wickets.
2020 - Finished 74th, 1 win, 546 runs, 22 wickets.
2019 - Finished 5th, 3 wins, 496 runs, 24 wickets. (We only played 2 games this year)
Urkels XI average 141 runs and 6 wickets per game. Nudeballers average 251 runs and 8 wickets per game.
Day 1 is always a challenge with so many unknowns, where is this field, will the other team show up, where is my box, I’m not fielding there, god please don’t let me drop a catch, that bacon burger has made me need to shit. I have no doubt in my mind Urkels XI would see this as a chance to knock off a team generally in the top finishers. Saturday and Sunday they have afternoon games which tells me they are going to play hard and will be very sore to back up. Don’t be fooled into previous records and think this will be an easy start to the weekend. Luckily for them uncle bob won’t be in attendance but this just creates an opportunity for someone else within to stand tall and bring the energy. Will that person be you?
Saturday 21/01/23 - Nudeballers v Yogis Eleven @ Field 45. AM
Yogis Eleven previous years data.
2022 - Finished 75th, 1 win, 401 runs and 16 wickets.
2020 - Finished 115th, 0 wins, 427 runs and 18 wickets.
2019 - Finished 65th, 1 win, 373 runs and 17 wickets. (1 wash).
Yogis average 150 runs and 6 wickets per game. Nudeballers 250 runs and 8 wickets.
Day 2 is a mental challenge, no doubt about it. We will be feeling sore in areas that haven’t been sore since this time last year. Players will be looking around at each other and hoping someone else will step up today but this won’t happen, you need to get off the seat and make a impact on the days play. I can already hear eagle having a go at the young fellas for sitting down and not warning up. It is a given on day 2 that someone must walk with anal and put the cones out or take the car to pick him up from Ingham he makes the boundary that big. I don’t wanna hear any complaints about the esky not being full, this task must be completed Friday night at the latest ready for the days play. Yogis eleven will have some work cut out for them to beat us but we can’t have a repeat from a few years ago day 2 and have statz tear us apart because we lost the game on the back of people sleeping in the car, shocking shots, shit bowling and it’s all your fault for staying out late. We are not here to drink.
Sunday 22/01/23 - Nudeballers v The Bam Boozlers @ Field 54 - Drink a stubbie downs.
The Bam Boozlers previous years data.
2022 - Finished 17th, 3 wins, 552 runs and 24 wickets.
I couldn’t find any information on this team before last year. I wasn’t satisfied with sitting on my hands and assuming they have only just started a team and somehow have a home field. I did some digging and found out that Chads Champs sold the team and ground to The Bam Boozlers at the end of 2020 season. I can’t confirm or deny if any of the players have stayed on or it’s a complete new team. Looking at chads stats from 2020 and 2019 I have to assume they have added some fire power.
2020 - Finished 108th, 0 wins, 464 runs and 19 wickets.
2019 - Finished 85th, 1 win, 518 runs and 20 wickets.
I can only have The bam boozlers average as 1 season to be true. 184 runs and 8 wickets per game.
Day 3. Wow we finally made it, so many sore bodies and a lot of emotions in the group that the weekend is nearly over. Those sad feelings quickly disappear turning to disappointment when we see the blue sky and sun beaming down knowing the chance of a washout is slim. Yesterday we needed to be mentally strong but today we need every bit in us to be physically strong, bodies breaking down quicker than vulture skulling drinks from the half empty cups at the Whitehorse. We meet our toughest competition on the last day much to our disliking, all we can do at this stage is enjoy the punishment we are putting ourself through and most importantly make sure our fielders are inside the ropes when a ball is bowled, even if the ball is going 30m over the rope. Stinky won’t be here this year to defend his record of 31 runs from the over, can someone else step up and beat him? Let’s hope not.
See you lads soon! Let’s go.
Game 1 (Match 40) v Urkel’s XI
The One with Eight Dropped Catches 😲
20 January 2023 at CT Airport Reserve Field 29
Batting first, Urkel’s XI 8/187; 26.4 overs. Nudeballers 8/281; 32.4 overs
Nudeballers win by 5 wickets in 22.3 overs.
The Nudeballers returned to the scene of their first ever GFA match, 15 years ago at CT Airport Reserve Field 29.
Eerily, #pooinsink’s pre-weekend analysis “will the other team show up….god please don’t let me drop a catch” all rang true with Urkel’s showing up with a “VI” instead of a “XI” at the start of play. Captain Half-A-Night delegated the toss to Shut-The-F@#$-Up but no flip was necessary; Urkel’s having to bat first until reinforcements arrived.
The responsibility for the first ball of the campaign fell to Yes Man and it predictably disappeared over the boundary for six! 16 off the first, but redemption in his next over; just three from it. Bonfire’s double wicket strike in the 4th and Trust Me’s wicket in the 7th reduced Urkel’s to 3/46 but then a horror spell for the Nudies with chance after chance finding the earth. Urkel’s added 133 in the next 17 overs with two retirees (Rusty and Aaron) before Vulture finally held onto one off #pooinsink at the end of the 24th over. From that point, Urkel’s capitulated with Trust Me picking up two in the last to finish with 3/16. Although some reinforcements had arrived, Urkel’s forfeited their last two wickets to end the innings at 187. A horrific start for Nudeballers with EIGHT dropped catches in the innings.; a record in any season let alone one match!
The Nudeballers top order all got a start, but innings were snuffed out just as they seemed ready to accelerate. Aaron Urkel took a couple of beauties at cover-ish and by the 16th over Nudeballers were 5/118. Nudeballers cranked it up over the next 15 overs adding 159 and powering past the target in 22.3 overs thanks to 50s from #pooinsink and Half-A-Night. Cider Canary played the anchor in partnerships of 43 with #pooinsink and 90 with Half-A-Night, but just failed to complete his own 50 when he lofted to “cow” and was juggled and caught on the boundary for 49 (The 6th Nudeballer to fall on that score). Nudeballers innings came to a quick close with two wickets in the 33rd over and just 4 more runs added to take the final score to 281.
Furstin picked up Play of the Day honours fielding for Nudeballers and also assisting Urkel’s who were short in the field. Great sportsmanship Furstin!
Man of the Match trophy to Bonfire who took 2/22, but more importantly managed to hold on to two catches!
Traditional post-match fellowship was conducted at the Sovereign followed by a sumptuous BBQ (chef #pooinsink) and rounds of Cornholes on the beautiful lawns of the Heritage Lodge Motel.
Game 2 (Match 41) v Yogi’s Eleven
The One with “Whaddaya mean ‘No’?” 😂
21 January 2023 at CT Airport Reserve Field 45
Batting first, Yogi’s Eleven All Out/80; 20 overs. Nudeballers 4/437; 34.5 overs
Nudeballers win by 10 wickets in 6.1 overs.
#pooinsink’s Day One “Where is this field?” prediction found its way to Day 2 as CTCA officials had inadvertently labelled CT Airport ‘s 45 as 46. After some driving around in circles debating which field was which, a quick call to Kerri confirmed that 46 was indeed 45. #pooinsink’s Day 2 warnings had been heeded. The eskies had been filled Friday night, the Boundaries were brought in but most surprisingly, players had stayed in Friday night and were rested!! How did that happen? Nudeballers were primed and everything fell into place.
The opposition had established a home base in a building next to the field, but somehow still managed to be late. As a result, an alert Anal convinced the opposition skipper that it would be best for them to bat first while they set up their tent etc., Toss won!
Nostradamus #pooinsink’s “Yogis eleven will have some work cut out for them to beat us” prediction was realised from the outset; Nudeballers impeccable attire (especially the long cricket pants) clearly an intimidatory factor. With Captain Rum Pig (Sounds like a pirate!) employing his pre-designed field settings, wickets fell with alarming regularity in the 3rd, 4th, 8th, 9th, 10th (2) and 11th to reduce Yogi’s to 7/45. Just 14 runs came from the next 6 before wickets in the 17th, 18th and 20th saw Yogi’s all out for 80. Once again Bonfire started proceeding with a C&B. Captain Rum Pig (arrggh!)took two in an over in the 10th and STFU also claimed two in his two overs. Bonfire had glue on his hands in close on the on side snaffling a record four catches in the innings.
It took just 6.1 overs to overhaul the target. By that point Vulture had already secured 50, retiring after a 76 run opening stand with Cider Canary. With Mum and Dad looking on, Furstin survived a dropped chance on 0 before going on to a 70 run partnership with Cider. Cider’s maiden 50 came up in the 14th over with the score on 146. Furstin and Anal partnered for 49 before Furstin also brought up a maiden 50. Captain Rum Pig’s ( arrggh!) Father-Son batting philosophy was working beautifully before STFU was bowled by a seed from Mark Yogi with the score on 228, the first wicket of the day to Yogi’s.
Yes Man strode to the wicket purposefully, faced a wide, struck his first legal ball (free hit) to mid-on, just wide of the bowler and took off for a run. Anal called “No”; Yes Man said “Whaddaya mean No?” and kept coming. Anal stayed rooted to his crease and the hapless Yes Man was run out on his free hit, just the second Nudeballer to fall for a golden 🦆. 2/229.
Trust Me joined Anal for a whirlwind 28 from 9 balls that saw Anal to his 50 and was then joined by #pooinsink for another Father-Son partnership - this one 75 from just 30 balls; #pooinsink unleashing for a 17 ball 50. Trust Me’s 50 - a record 6th for the innings - came after a 51 run partnership with Half-A-Night. The 3rd wicket finally fell in the 33rd over with the score on 404. Chief King cheekily clobbered a 12 ball 30 left handed at the death to elevate the Nudies to a record high score of 4/437 with 6 retirements. An incredible victory to Nudeballers.
Play of the Day honours to Yes Man for “Whaddaya Mean No?”
Man of the Match Honours to Rum Pig (arrggh!) for his well thought out strategic approach.
Special mention to Bonfire with four catches and a wicket.
There may or may not have been a few wins at the TAB on Saturday arvo! A big day all round for the Nudeballers. Another sumptuous BBQ. Our Heritage Lodge hosts Waz and Kerry graciously allowing us access to their own BBQ. Well done Nudeballers.
Game 3 (Match 42) v Bam Boozlers
The One with The Broken Leg 😒
22 January 2023 at Drink-A-Stubbie Downs Field 54
Batting first, Bam Boozlers 7/176; 35 overs. Nudeballers 5/290; 35 overs
Nudeballers win by 7 wickets in 22.2 overs.
Early start, vehicles loaded, quick stop at the Goldfield Ashes complex and we were on our way to Drink-A-Stubbie Downs about 7km out of town going North. Through two causeways… water running over both…to a very rustic ground. Surprisingly, there was a bit of grass on the field and for some reason, despite enormous boundaries, the call by the home side was to hit toward the scrub!?!
#pooinsink assumed the captaincy eager to put his bat-first-last-day theory into practice. Alas! he lost the toss and Nudeballers were in the field. There was evidence early that Bamboozlers would be the toughest opposition of the weekend, just as Nostradamus #pooinsink had predicted. The first wicket did not fall until the 7th over with the score on 43. Once again it was via another Bonfire C&B. Three C&Bs, all the first wicket, another Nudeballers record for the weekend. Although taking wickets was tough, so was scoring runs. Dropped catches plagued the Nudies again with seven finding their way to the grass/dirt. It was seven overs later when the next wicket fell; a fine catch in the deep to Furstin off the bowling of Yes Man. Groundie Bamboozler looked the goods but fell for 42 from a good Chief King boundary catch off Rum Pig to make it 3/116 from 19 overs. A couple of overs later, an attempted pull shot off Half-A-Night took a glove and Statz completed a good leg side catch high to his left behind the stumps. Then, the catch of the match, the season and probably in the top five of the last 15 years for the Nudeballers. Bonfire - in his spot - stuck out a hand and latched onto a full-blooded pull shot off the bowling of Chief King to make it 5/128 from 24 overs. Bamboozlers managed 36 from the next 6 overs before Trust Me claimed his 6th of the weekend; #pooinsink taking the catch on the boundary. Half-A-Night was 2/3 when he crashed into the top of middle stump in the next over to make it 7fa and some fine death bowling by Half-A-Night, Trust Me and Furstin restricted Bamboozlers to just 11 runs in the final three overs.
The first target was 177 for the win, but the early wickets of of Trust Me in the 5th and Half-A-Night in the 7th threatened that. However, A solid 50 by Chief King followed by another from #pooinsink set the Nudies back on track. #pooinsink’s 55 taking him to a Nudies record 159no for the weekend. Cider Canary once again provided the anchor, turning over the strike to the big hitters, combining with CK for 25 and #pooinsink for 82 in just 9 overs. For the 3rd time in three days, Cider Canary was in when the winning runs were hit. Cider was eventually out in the 23rd over with the score on 186. The next goal was 282 to make it 1000 for the weekend. Vulture picked up where the old man left off adding 23 with Cider, 18 with Bonfire and 47 with STFU before retiring with his 2nd 50 of the weekend. 38 from 30 to reach 1000. 12 off the 31st; 26 from 24. Furstin and STFU were up to the task. A six and a 4 to STFU at the end of the 34th and there it was; Nudies 284 with an over to go. Yoohoo!
Bizarrely, it was a C&B that ended STFU’s innings on the 5th ball of the 35th, bringing Yes Man to the crease. “You’d better get ready to run” was the call to Furstin as Yes Man entered the arena. Bat to ball. “Yes”. Yes Man sprinting. Run complete. “Oh what a Feeling!” Oh No! 😒
Ode to Yes Man (by Cider Canary and his bot)
Yes Man stood at the crease
With determination on his face
The fielders were set, the bowlers were primed
But he knew he had the strength of mind
He faced the pitch with courage and grace
And ran that quick single with pace
Though the pain was real, and the bone did crack
He pushed through it, and refused to backtrack
With every step, he felt the burn
But he knew his team, his friends, his yearn
To win the game, to come out on top
To beat the other side by 110 runs, and make them stop
Yes Man, you are a true inspiration
For your bravery, your determination
You may have broken your femur in two
But you have won the game for me and you
So let us raise a glass to Yes Man's name
For his courage, his spirit, his aim
He may have fallen, but he rose again
A true champion, till the very end.
Some people will go to any lengths for a Play of the Day!
Man of the match trophy will be sent to Bamboozlers for their magnificent assistance with Yes Man.
What a weekend for Nudeballers!
A record number of dropped catches - 19.
A highest score ever 4/437.
1008 runs; a record 24.08 pts and highest ever placing of 2nd.
Six 50s in an innings
A record 8 catches and 3 C&Bs for Bonfire.
Awards:
Pink Cap - Bonfire 8 Catches (2 drops) 6 Points
Purple Cap - Trust Me 9.4 - 1 - 6 - 32
Orange Cap - #pooinsink 159 not out
